Sunday, 14 September 2008

The Letter "C" - from Caddies to Cut-shots, via Calcutta on a golf Cart

Caddie
a person paid to carry a player's clubs and offer advice. Players are responsible for the actions of their caddies.
PGAT says- They get 10% of professionals winnings, which means Tiger's caddie Steve Williams is the richest "sportsman" ever to come from New Zealand. They will be blamed for all that goes wrong.
Calcutta
a wager, typically in support of one team to win a tournament. In a Calcutta golfers bid, auction style, on the team (or golfer) who they think will win the tournament (you can bid on your own team or yourself). All the money raised through the auction goes into an auction pool. At the end of the tournament, those who bet on the winning team (or golfer) that won the tournament receives a pre-determined payout from the auction pool.
PGAT says - I'm not sure why this is in here, or why that particular type of bet is called a Calcutta, but what I do know is, you should bet on Tiger...
Carry
how far the ball travels through the air. Contrasted with "run."
PGAT says - You need to know how far you will carry the ball when hitting over a hazard, unless you can skim the ball over water, which I'm willing to bet you can't.
Cart
the four-wheeled electrical or gas-powered vehicle for use in transporting players and their equipment from hole to hole. Also, a hand-pulled (2-wheel) or hand-pushed (3-wheel) cart for carrying a bag of clubs, also available in powered versions controlled by remote.
PGAT says - The first one is the preserve of rich Americans. Golf is supposed to be a good walk spoiled not a buggy drive spoiled, get out and walk you lazy bums. And if you use a cart, make sure you're pulling it yourself unless you are an old woman or have a medical condition, don't be a wuss.
Casual water
any temporary standing water visible after a player has taken his stance. Snow and ice can also be taken as casual water, as well as water that overflows the banks of existing water hazards.
PGAT says - this is the laidback carefree H2O, not the sharp-dressed suit and tie business water. If you're playing when it's snowing, you need to get your head seen to. Catching your club on frozen ground is a handy way to break a wrist or two.
Chip
a short shot (typically played from very close to and around the green), that is intended to travel through the air over a very short distance and roll the remainder of the way to the hole.
PGAT says - Probably the trickiest thing in golf to learn to do well, invariably you will become locked in a cycle of hitting it too hard and the next too soft until you work it out. Look out for plonkers trying the chipping with a driver trick, to just pop it an inch in the air onto the green, they always muck it up.
Chunk
a swing that results in the clubhead hitting the ground several inches before the ball, resulting in a large chunk of ground being taken as a divot. Also called a "fat" shot, or "chili-dipping".
PGAT says - It happens, it hurts, it makes you look dumb. what a great game...
Clone
an umbrella term for generic brand golf clubs.
PGAT says - See Dolly the sheep
Closed Face
when (in relation to the target-line) the clubface is angled toward the player's body, ie angled left for right-handed players.
PGAT says - "I don't get it, it keeps pinging straight". The response to a statement like this is to bellow, "OPEN YOUR FACE" and enjoy their confusion. It the face isn't straight at impact it's not going to go straight now is it?
Closed Stance
when a player's front foot is set closer to the target-line. Used to draw the ball or to prevent a slice.
PGAT says - Just worry about getting everything straight and true before you start messing with your stance. When you can hit it over 200 yards, then you might start thinking about drawing the ball.
Club
a tool for the player to hit the ball. A player is allowed to carry up to 14 clubs while playing.
PGAT says - Them long metal thingummy-bobbers. I call them "Golf Stick-Bats"
Clubface
the surface of the club head which is designed to strike the golf ball. Players should strive to hit the ball with the center of the clubface to maximize distance and accuracy.
PGAT says - This is the bit of the club with the grooves on it. Hit the ball with this side, in the middle. Using the reverse side isn't a great idea. You'll be asked to leave, so make sure you know what it is before you start.
Clubhouse
this is where play begins and ends. The clubhouse is also your source for information about local rules, the conditions of the course, upcoming events and other essential information for the avid golfer. Normally, you can also purchase balls, clubs, clothes, and other golfing equipment at the clubhouse.
PGAT says - Nice clubhouses may be like what is described above. In my experience, most will smell of mucky, mouldy forgotten old Golf shoes and is where they take your money off you.
Come-backer
a putt required after the previous putt went past the hole.
PGAT says- Come-backer just sounds rude to me... say return putt.
Compression
the measurement for expressing the hardness of a golf ball, normally 90 compression. Harder balls (100 compression) are intended for players with faster swings but may also be useful in windy conditions.
PGAT says- Trust me, your swing isn't fast enough to use 100 compression, it's just not...
Condor
a four-under par shot, a hole-in-one on a par 5 . This has occurred on a hole with a heavy dogleg, hard ground, and no trees. Might also be called "a triple eagle".
PGAT says - Not sure what the odds are for this, but they will be quite large I would think, really quite large. Again, Condor is an awesome name, like Albatross, don't call it a "triple eagle", that's crap. Stoopid Americans with their rubbish terms...
Course
a designated area of land on which golf is played through a normal succession from hole #1 to the last hole.
PGAT says - Where you will play the majority of your golf, it's safer for all concerned.
Cross-handed
putting (and, occasionally, full-swing) grip in which the hands are placed in positions opposite that of the conventional grip. For right-handed golfers, a cross-handed grip would place the left hand below the right. Also known as the "left-hand low" grip, it has been known to help players combat the yips.
PGAT says - this is what players do as a last resort when their normal putting action has gone to pot. Sometimes it really works. Don't do it on a full swing. My brother does, no matter how many times I show him how much it cuts down on your rotation and control. Silly git. Learn the proper way, it'll be so much better in the long run.
Cut or the cut
after the first two rounds of a stroke play tournament, a select number of players will have earned the right to play the rest of the tournament for a chance to win the championship, by having a score at or lower than this number. The cut is usually a fixed number of players (e.g. 70), plus anyone tied for that place. In some tournaments, anyone within a fixed number of strokes (e.g. 10) of the leader are also included in the cut. Those missing the cut earn no official money for the tournament.
PGAT says - Seperating the wheat from the chaff, the men from the boys, the cream from the sour milk etc.
Cut Shot
same as a fade, a cut curves from left to right (for a right-handed player), but is generally higher in trajectory and more controlled than a standard fade. The "high cut" is a staple among PGA Tour players.
PGAT says- One of those shots you see professionals hit and realise just how much better they are than you.

No comments: