Friday, 22 August 2008

The Letter "B" - Taking a ride up the Back nine til it's time to say Bye, with a few Birdies and Bogeys along the way.

Back nine
the last nine holes of an 18 hole golf course. Playing the back nine is called "heading in."
PGAT says- your opportunity to make up for for your awful front nine.
Backspin
a reverse spin inevitably placed on any ball that becomes airborne. The spin causes the ball to climb and land softly on the green.
PGAT says- Something every golfer likes to see,unless they get to much and the it spins right off the green. Sod's law dictates this will happen most of the time...
Backswing
The backward part of the swing starting from the ground and going back behind the head.
PGAT says- The bit where you get to think about all the things that could go wrong when you bring the club back through, just before you make one of those nightmares come true.
Ball
a small sphere used in playing golf, which is intended to be struck by a club and travel in the general direction of the green for a particular hole, if one is playing on a regulation golf course.
PGAT says- If you have to look up the word ball in a golf glossary, you must be thinking of another sport
Ball-marker
a token or a small coin used to spot the ball's position on the green prior to lifting it.
PGAT says- An essential tool, if it looks like your ball is about to roll back down a slope if the wind catches it, get it marked, sharpish, like Gary Player always did.
Ball-washer
a device found on many tees for cleaning golf balls.
PGAT says- don't use them. On most courses they are full of dirty stagnant water; you'll lift your ball out and it will leave your hands stinking to high heaven for a week.
Banana-ball
A slice that curves to the right in the shape of a banana. An extreme slice.
PGAT says - A common result of too much thinking on your back swing, see above
Bandit
British version of the term Sandbagger (see below).
PGAT says- A dirty cheat trickster who takes bets based on a higher handicap than what he should be playing off. Basically, a guy who says, I should have a head start because I'm crap, when he's not. It could apply to women, but they are rarely competitive enough to sink so low. Scummy cheaters.
Bare Lie
When the ball lies directly on hard ground without any grass to buoy the ball up - i.e. where there is no grass creating a gap between ball and the ground. Applicable when practicing off hard mats.
PGAT says- makes it slightly more likely for your to make a rubbish contact and jar your wrists from striking the ground, which can be very painful.
Baseball grip
grip style with all ten fingers on the club. Also known as the "Ten-Finger Grip".
PGAT says- The preferred choice of some but it can leave more room for you to muck up your swing as your hands aren't locked together like they are in the more standard Vardon Grip. If you do it, you should probably practice another grip, you'll probably get better.
Best ball
where a single player plays a match against a team consisting of either two or three players.
PGAT says - a good way to have a match against a clearly better player, surely between two of you, one will score well on each hole, right?
Birdie
a hole played one stroke under par.
PGAT says - The sweetest thing you'll ever get in golf, unless you're lucky enough to get an eagle, but that will probably be a fluke.
Bite
heavy backspin applied to a ball that causes it to stop quickly instead of rolling when it lands.
PGAT says- That thing that professionals get when the ball stops dead, where your ball would go rolling on.
Blade
term used to describe one type of iron made by forging the metal rather than from a cast mold. Also, describes a shot struck "thinly" with an iron in the middle of the golf ball.
PGAT says- Also, a film where Wesley Snipes is a day walking Vampire who kills vampires. Kris Kristofferson is cracking in it...
Blast
a bunker shot that sends the ball, and accompanying sand, (hopefully) onto the green. Also known as a "explosion".
PGAT says- Also what will be shouted by a player when he just moves it a yard further into the bunker, if he's watching his language that is...
Blind
a shot that does not allow the golfer to see where the ball will land, such as onto an elevated green from below.
PGAT says- means you'll have to wait that bit longer to find out just how bad your shot turned out.
Block
a shot played severely to the right; as opposed to slices, which curve from left to right, a blocked shot goes directly right. Similar to the "push".
PGAT says- If your doing this all the time, aim way left, you are guaranteed to suddenly start hitting it straight, until you try aiming straight again...
Bogey
a hole played one stroke over par.
PGAT says- for us mere mortals it's as good as a par, at least it's not a double bogey, that's what I always say...
Bounce
technically, the measure of the angle from the front edge of a club's sole to the point that rests on the ground when addressing the ball.
PGAT says- Sand wedges have big bounces, to help them move through the sand, which means you are more likely to catch the ball with the leading edge from the fairway, and send the ball scuttling flat on the ground. You'll remember this when you see your ball scuttling flat on the ground...
Break
the amount of lateral slope one must account for on a putt. In the United Kingdom, it is known as "borrow".
PGAT says- it looks like it breaks to the left, it goes straight. It looks like it goes straight, it breaks to the left. The reason golf is so bloody infuriating but ultimately rewarding when you guess it right. Or left as the case may be.
Bullarding
Playing consistently above your regular handicap or regularly failing to achieve in competition play. It is the opposite of Sandbagging (see Sandbagger, below).
PGAT says - unfortunate people who think they're still as good as they used to be, crushing their own tiny spirits every week until they can admit they've got worse at the game.
Bump and run
a low-trajectory shot that is intended to get the ball rolling along the fairway and up onto the green. Similar to a chip shot, but played from a greater distance.
PGAT says- If anyone has Phil Mickelson's address, send this description to him, tell him it's a shot that's handy in the Open, I doubt he'll listen. He loves his flop shot too much.
Bunker
A depression in bare ground that is usually covered with sand. Also called a "sand trap". It is considered a hazard under the Rules of Golf.
PGAT says- Don't see it as a hazard, see it as a nice change of scenery, you were fed up with that boring old grass, the sand's where the fun is!
Bunker, Greenside
A bunker next to a green. See bunker (golf)
PGAT says- If your name is Ernie Els, a greenside bunker is a a lovely place to be. For the rest of us mortals, its "a nice change of scenery"(see above).
Bunker, Fairway
A bunker located on the fairway. See bunker (golf)
PGAT says- fortunately you probably don't hit it far enough to reach them so you won't run into too many.
Bye
a short game played over the remaining holes when the main match finishes early because one player or team has won by a large margin. It serves the joint purpose of adding some competitive meaning to the rest of the holes and also for the losing side to attempt to regain some of the pride lost as a result of their humiliation in the main match. It is usual for the loser of the bye to buy the first drinks in the 19th hole afterwards. In this respect it is an almost direct equivalent to a beer match in cricket.
PGAT says- You've just been thrashed, there's nine holes left, so you let him have the fun of thrashing you again so you can have the pleasure of buying him a drink. Tap water will do the bugger, you're the one who'll need a drink!

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